Potatoes

What if people were potatoes? If I were a potato, I'd look like this:

I can't imagine that life as a potato would be very fun. First of all, I wouldn't have a mouth. Or a nose, or ears, or any other body parts. Potatoes only have eyes.

If I were a potato, I wouldn't have any internal organs. I would be full of juicy white potato-ness, which means I would have no brain. If I were a potato, I wouldn't be able to think.

And then, inevitably, someone would dig me up and chop me into french fries. If I got chopped into french fries, I would be sad.

Except really, I wouldn't be capable of being sad, since potatoes have no brains, and therefore have no feelings.

If I were french fries, I'd look like this:

I'm really glad I'm a human and not a potato.