Thursday, January 26, 2012

tasty little mutant bears

Whenever I acquire a bag of gummy bears, I become a child.
I like to play with my gummy bears before eating them.

Sometimes, they enter gummy bear relationships and kiss each other. Awwwww.

Sometimes, I smush them and watch them spring back up. Those little buddies are resilient!



But my favorite way to play with gummy bears is by...
Biting the head off one bear and transplanting it onto another bear's body.

Mutant gummy bears are awesome. They are so much cooler than normal gummy bears.

Mutant gummy bears talk funny. They say really weird things.




Mutant gummy bears enjoy discussing poop. My only problem with this is, once they do, I lose my will to eat them.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

LegoLord Voldemort (photoblog entry)

Today I didn't draw any silly pictures. I'm sorry.

Not really.

My new hobby: coming up with ways to abuse Lego Voldemort (I prefer to call him "Voldy") using things I find on and around my desk. I've decided it's okay to abuse Voldemort because he's mean. He kills people and stuff. (Please forgive my un-fancy camera.)

That elder wand really isn't working out for Voldy right now. I just popped his head right off!


Oh no! Not monkey cuddles! Voldy hates love and fuzziness!

 What now, Voldy? Your wand's out of reach!


 Now, with my mighty magic hole puncher, I'll make the wind blow through your cloak! And you'll get cold! Brrr!



I'mma press you like a flower, Voldy!

 Yeah, now you're in a dust rag. Sneeze, Voldy, sneeze!

 Did I catch you like an itty bitty insect, wittle Voldy? Aww.

What's that, Voldy? You can't see? The headlamp is blinding you? TOO BAD.

Cry, wittle Voldy, cry!

What's that? You're getting attacked by a bear?

"Quick, Mr. Raptor! Disarm him while I sneak up on him!"


VICTORY!

Out of all the ways Voldy could've died, I would never have expected dinosaurs. Who knew?

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Potatoes

What if people were potatoes? If I were a potato, I'd look like this:

I can't imagine that life as a potato would be very fun. First of all, I wouldn't have a mouth. Or a nose, or ears, or any other body parts. Potatoes only have eyes.

If I were a potato, I wouldn't have any internal organs. I would be full of juicy white potato-ness, which means I would have no brain. If I were a potato, I wouldn't be able to think.

And then, inevitably, someone would dig me up and chop me into french fries. If I got chopped into french fries, I would be sad.

Except really, I wouldn't be capable of being sad, since potatoes have no brains, and therefore have no feelings.

If I were french fries, I'd look like this:

I'm really glad I'm a human and not a potato.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

from the dinosaur days

Before I started drawing funny things on the computer like a fancy person, I drew funny things on paper. Here's a funny thing on paper about an amoeba: