Did you know that Santa Claus is actually a penguin?
Yep, he is! And so are the elves!
THE REINDEER ARE PENGUINS!
(What, how? Deer are not penguins, idiot. Furthermore, penguins can't fly.)
WHO CARES? THE REINDEER ARE PENGUINS.
Mrs. Claus is a penguin.
Santa's sleigh is a penguin!
Your Christmas tree is a penguin!
Yup! And I bet you don't expect this one!
YOU'RE A PENGUIN.
Your mom is a penguin!
Your face is a penguin.
Your mom's face is a penguin!
I JUST ATE A BROWNIE. NO MORE COHERENCE FOR ME TODAY! AAAAAHAHAHAA CHRISTMAS!