Wednesday, September 19, 2012


Bearnicorn is a presidential candidate unlike any before. He's very honest, and has a solution for every problem.
Born from an uncommon relationship between a unicorn and a grizzly bear, Bearnicorn was raised in the wilderness of Montana, where he learned to work hard and fend for himself. He has risen from an impoverished background and directly understands the struggles of many Americans.

Bearnicorn lives by a simple philosophy:

If elected President, Bearnicorn plans to make some drastic changes within our government.

So vote for this radical new leader on November 6th! And remember,

Monday, September 3, 2012

So I had this crazy dream...

Last night, I had a dream I moved into a giant apartment building in Virginia. My cousin appeared and said,

And I said,

And she said,

I asked if there was a faster way, and then we started flying through the sky. We flew over Dollywood.

Then we made it to my cousin's luggage. She had too much stuff. She had four guitars and a banjo. I said,

Then, we grew more hands and took it all back to Virginia.

I tried to move into my bedroom, but someone was already living in there. Her bed took up the entire room . She said,

Then she left. I got angry and walked outside. Then a guy asked me to paint him something. I asked what, and he said,

Suddenly I had a canvas the size of a wall. Then a girl walked up and said,

She wrote stupid motivational stuff all over my canvas.

I got really furious, and I had to get a new canvas. I tried to think of what to paint, and I decided to paint an alien spaceship stealing the dome off the capital building. I thought it would be funny. Then, I was standing outside the capital building and lo and behold, an alien spaceship flew in.

But instead of stealing the dome, it crashed into the front lawn.

I ran up to see if the pilot was okay, and Robert De Niro climbed out, yelling about how he was going to get fired and kicked out of the air force for crashing the spaceship.

He ran away. I looked inside the spaceship and found about thirty pairs of new shoes, all in my size.

I started to pick up a pair, then I saw a bomb in the backseat. It was about to detonate. I ran away and the spaceship blew up and sent shoes flying everywhere.

And then I woke up.